[Instiz] Swings' ideal woman is someone who will treat him like a baby?

Instiz: Swings ideal woman is someone who can feed him from a baby bottle

Swings listing out his ideal type of woman: Strong maternal affection, likes reading, likes movies, foxy to me, cute laughter, loves my fat belly, likes my music, good cook, likes dogs, not materialistic, hasn't had plastic surgery on more than two features, smells like good shampoo, likes giving massages, likes my smell, good to my mother, knows how to drink without going crazy, laughs without covering her mouth, doesn't dress too sexy, doesn't swear often but tolerates others who do within reason, touches my hair a lot, independent and doesn't rely on me, has to treat me like a baby once in a while, stroke my stomach, and she'll be perfect if she put warm milk in a baby bottle and fed it to me. ^^

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"I have no words........"

"Why did I read this........"

"This is gross... a woman is not some pair of shoes you can put on display in your glass case."

"A woman such as this does not exist~"

"Is he basically saying he chooses to be alone for the rest of his life?"

"He's trying to be funny, right..?"

"I hate myself for clicking on this link"

"He basically wants a robot"

"What would a woman who fits all of these characteristics want to date Swings for"

"That's a whole lotta words to just say 'I will die alone'"

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